Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
