thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
