She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
