you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
