She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
