ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
