dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
