is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
don't judge my taste in strippers
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
