That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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