so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
