he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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