What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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