I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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