sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
