im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
