haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
