I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
