I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
