i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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