i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
