everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
