My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
