Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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