i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
