Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize