some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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