You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
