Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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