Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
