when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
