I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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