We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
