i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
