Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
