try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
