I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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