They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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