I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
