I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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