awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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