What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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