I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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