I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
