i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
