I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Someone signed my nipple.
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