And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
