I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
