My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
