This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
