4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
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