Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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