What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
