I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
