Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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