Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
