It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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